Oct 27, 2013
Found Memories
Found Memories. I loved this movie. I loved the slowness of it. I loved the characters. I loved the beauty in the little things. It changed my perspective through my desire to enjoy the beautiful, small moments of life, rather than always thinking about the big things (which I tend to have a problem with doing). I loved the repetition in the first few scenes of the woman, walking the railroad tracks over and over again, her arguing with her friend, the mass scenes, and the village eating together afterwards. It was such a show of what a tired old town can bring, what beauty there really is in routine and taking things slowly. It made me want to live my life in such a way- to see things as a day to day, week to week process of beauty, not just one big event after another. It's a wonderful way of looking at things.
Oct 26, 2013
On Love
Today I am feeling inspired. It's 7:45 in the morning, I've been up since five. I got virtually no sleep last night because I'm an idiot college student with no respect for rest. I'm sitting here, watching TV and getting paid for it, I'm exhausted and all I want is my bed and some hot chocolate (this room is freezing), and yet I feel so blessed. You know why? Because I'm lucky enough to be watching General Conference. Sure, I've seen this session every week since it first aired. Yeah, it does get a little monotonous. But am I tired of it? Not at all. I could watch this single session one hundred more times (and I may have to do just that, if I keep working this same shift at work), and not get even half out of it than what is available. Heck, I could memorize the speaker order, the words they say and their facial expressions as they say them, and I still wouldn't be getting enough out of this. That is the beauty of God's word- it takes a different form every time you hear it, according to what you need. The words may be the same, but the impressions that they have on peoples' hearts will always be vastly and personally unique. Heavenly Father knows us. He knows what we need to hear and what we need to feel and how exactly to get that across to us. For me, one small way that need is fulfilled is watching General Conference, October 2013 Saturday Morning Session every Saturday morning from 6-8 am. What a blessing.
There is no cap to God's love and understanding for His children, and of that I can testify. He doesn't make mistakes and He NEVER stops loving anyone. Ever. As President Monson said in the General Relief Society meeting this last General Conference, "...Your Heavenly Father loves you. Each of you! That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad, or happy. Discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you deserve love. It is simply, always there." There are times when things just aren't working out, at all. On a much smaller scale than many others around me, I've felt that despair. It doesn't have to come from a major loss or a life-changing event, although despair naturally accompanies such occurrences. For me, as of late, it's simply come from the process of growing up. Things aren't the same anymore, nor will they ever be. Coping with that knowledge hasn't exactly been easy, but through it all, I've felt Heavenly Father's love. I've made a cringe-worthy amount of mistakes in the last few months, even more than normal, but you know what? Heavenly Father still loves me, just the same as He always has. And that is no different for anyone, no matter what.
God loves you if you are happy lonely sad mistreated victimized thrilled despairing in love all alone straight different hateful beautiful small fat unhappy guarded generous clean gay unmotivated depressed outspoken powerful pensive reserved talented restless ungrateful unclean mistake ridden diligent impulsive drowning in doubts or existing in the sunshine. We are the human race, and we are all of these things, but we are also His children and we will always be welcomed in His arms, if we'll just extend our own towards Him.
We are all deserving of God's love, because we are all His children. With that blessing, however, comes the responsibility to remember that we are not alone in that divinely ordained relationship. Everyone, EVERYONE around you, they have just as much of His love as you do. We are all His children. That guy down the street that's covered with tattoos and smokes a pack a day? Your gay cousin that never really comes around anymore? The older woman who yells at neighborhood kids that tromp through her flowers every morning. The child in your classroom that never smells good and can't ever seem to stop talking. They are His children. He loves them. I forget that so easily when someone makes me uncomfortable or mad. Take yesterday, when I fell asleep on the grass outside my apartment (as I said, I'm exhausted. All the time.) and some guy pulled into the parking lot, rolled down the windows of his sports car, and started blasting the most obscene music I have ever heard. I woke up to words that I haven't heard in months- I do, after all, live in Provo. And he just sat there. I sat up from my self made mattress of grass and yellow leaves and attempted to stare him down. I must have sat there for ten minutes, just glaring at that guy. He had woken me up! Did he not understand that sleep, for me, is as rare as dates? And not only had he woken me up, he had done so with distaste and an utter lack of respect for my ears. But, alas, he didn't move. I annoyed, yes, but too scared to say anything. So I gave up the fight and retreated into my apartment. Ok, I wasn't just annoyed. I was fuming. The whole situation had been bizarre. I vented to my roommates about this terrible person who ruined lives (naps are life) and people and ears and souls. But guess what?
That man. That man that was simply playing his music just loud enough to annoy me. He's just as good a person as I am, if not better. I don't know anything about him, besides his taste in music and sports cars. Heck, that guy could be a great guy! He was probably on his way to a charity event or to adopt an orphaned kitten or something. He could have been playing a joke on me, for all I know! A stupid and infuriating joke, granted, but hey. Senses of humor vary. But whether he was an altruistic angel with an affinity for blasting naps out of existence or the worst human being to crawl the Earth- it doesn't matter. What I thought of him has zero relevance. God loves that man. He loves Him. Nothing else matters. God loves him. So why shouldn't I? I mean, if loving somebody and everybody is good enough for God, then how could it ever be less than enough for me?
So, I think for me, this post is more of a challenge for myself than anything. As of today, I am challenging myself to see the reflection of God in the eyes of all those I meet. It may be hard and the effort may seem futile, but I know that it is there in them as much as it is there in me. So of course I am going to try and see it. To those few of you that will see this, I'd invite you to do the same. I think it'll make it easier not only to see Heavenly Father in others, but in ourselves, as well. And how could it get any better than that?
Lastly, I want to make this even longer and just tell you how much this Gospel means to me. I hope that's ok. This Gospel- man oh man. It has a hand in everything that I am, and I would not be anywhere close to where I am now without it. The Gospel is a Gospel of second chances, of acceptance, and of love, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I know that it is true. With every fiber of my being, I know that it is true. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and loves you and that will never change. I know that through this Gospel, I have value. I have worth. I know that Christ is my Savior and the Atonement is His greatest sacrifice and gift to us. I know that prayer is real and it works. I respect and honor the priesthood, in those that hold it and in the personal and lasting effect that it has had on my life. I know that God knows me and what I need to hear and who I need to meet and where my life is headed. And I know that the Book of Mormon is true. And that will always be enough.
There is no cap to God's love and understanding for His children, and of that I can testify. He doesn't make mistakes and He NEVER stops loving anyone. Ever. As President Monson said in the General Relief Society meeting this last General Conference, "...Your Heavenly Father loves you. Each of you! That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad, or happy. Discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you deserve love. It is simply, always there." There are times when things just aren't working out, at all. On a much smaller scale than many others around me, I've felt that despair. It doesn't have to come from a major loss or a life-changing event, although despair naturally accompanies such occurrences. For me, as of late, it's simply come from the process of growing up. Things aren't the same anymore, nor will they ever be. Coping with that knowledge hasn't exactly been easy, but through it all, I've felt Heavenly Father's love. I've made a cringe-worthy amount of mistakes in the last few months, even more than normal, but you know what? Heavenly Father still loves me, just the same as He always has. And that is no different for anyone, no matter what.
God loves you if you are happy lonely sad mistreated victimized thrilled despairing in love all alone straight different hateful beautiful small fat unhappy guarded generous clean gay unmotivated depressed outspoken powerful pensive reserved talented restless ungrateful unclean mistake ridden diligent impulsive drowning in doubts or existing in the sunshine. We are the human race, and we are all of these things, but we are also His children and we will always be welcomed in His arms, if we'll just extend our own towards Him.
We are all deserving of God's love, because we are all His children. With that blessing, however, comes the responsibility to remember that we are not alone in that divinely ordained relationship. Everyone, EVERYONE around you, they have just as much of His love as you do. We are all His children. That guy down the street that's covered with tattoos and smokes a pack a day? Your gay cousin that never really comes around anymore? The older woman who yells at neighborhood kids that tromp through her flowers every morning. The child in your classroom that never smells good and can't ever seem to stop talking. They are His children. He loves them. I forget that so easily when someone makes me uncomfortable or mad. Take yesterday, when I fell asleep on the grass outside my apartment (as I said, I'm exhausted. All the time.) and some guy pulled into the parking lot, rolled down the windows of his sports car, and started blasting the most obscene music I have ever heard. I woke up to words that I haven't heard in months- I do, after all, live in Provo. And he just sat there. I sat up from my self made mattress of grass and yellow leaves and attempted to stare him down. I must have sat there for ten minutes, just glaring at that guy. He had woken me up! Did he not understand that sleep, for me, is as rare as dates? And not only had he woken me up, he had done so with distaste and an utter lack of respect for my ears. But, alas, he didn't move. I annoyed, yes, but too scared to say anything. So I gave up the fight and retreated into my apartment. Ok, I wasn't just annoyed. I was fuming. The whole situation had been bizarre. I vented to my roommates about this terrible person who ruined lives (naps are life) and people and ears and souls. But guess what?
That man. That man that was simply playing his music just loud enough to annoy me. He's just as good a person as I am, if not better. I don't know anything about him, besides his taste in music and sports cars. Heck, that guy could be a great guy! He was probably on his way to a charity event or to adopt an orphaned kitten or something. He could have been playing a joke on me, for all I know! A stupid and infuriating joke, granted, but hey. Senses of humor vary. But whether he was an altruistic angel with an affinity for blasting naps out of existence or the worst human being to crawl the Earth- it doesn't matter. What I thought of him has zero relevance. God loves that man. He loves Him. Nothing else matters. God loves him. So why shouldn't I? I mean, if loving somebody and everybody is good enough for God, then how could it ever be less than enough for me?
So, I think for me, this post is more of a challenge for myself than anything. As of today, I am challenging myself to see the reflection of God in the eyes of all those I meet. It may be hard and the effort may seem futile, but I know that it is there in them as much as it is there in me. So of course I am going to try and see it. To those few of you that will see this, I'd invite you to do the same. I think it'll make it easier not only to see Heavenly Father in others, but in ourselves, as well. And how could it get any better than that?
Lastly, I want to make this even longer and just tell you how much this Gospel means to me. I hope that's ok. This Gospel- man oh man. It has a hand in everything that I am, and I would not be anywhere close to where I am now without it. The Gospel is a Gospel of second chances, of acceptance, and of love, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I know that it is true. With every fiber of my being, I know that it is true. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and loves you and that will never change. I know that through this Gospel, I have value. I have worth. I know that Christ is my Savior and the Atonement is His greatest sacrifice and gift to us. I know that prayer is real and it works. I respect and honor the priesthood, in those that hold it and in the personal and lasting effect that it has had on my life. I know that God knows me and what I need to hear and who I need to meet and where my life is headed. And I know that the Book of Mormon is true. And that will always be enough.
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